Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
