He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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