this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
