Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize