summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
