Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
