For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
