I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Randomize
