So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The air was thick with penises
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
