Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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