Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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