Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize