According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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