so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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