I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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