do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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