u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
