Whod you bang
Your dad touched me again.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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