I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
