i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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