So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
