Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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