Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Randomize
