if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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