just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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