Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
