If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize