Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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