In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
