My first STD was from a foam party
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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