I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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