sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
