k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
3pm strippers are depressing
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize