They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
