I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
