NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize