i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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