Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
