the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
