She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The feeling are messing with the penis
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
