I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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