This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
