Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
