remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize