Little spoons don't ask big questions
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize