Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
