I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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