Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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