And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize