Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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