he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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