i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
