I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
