Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Success! We fucked roommates!
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