so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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