I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
